This is Winning.

Back in 2012 one of my best friends and I decided that 2013 was going to be our year. The previous few had pretty much sucked. Not that there weren’t good times or things to be thankful for, but we’d both been through a lot and we were really looking forward to a fabulous 2013. You know what they say about the best laid plans… Needless to say, 2013 didn’t turn out to be THE year. For either of us. Personally, I dealt with 4 surgeries, a failed business, a failed suicide attempt and a very tumultuous relationship. I wasn’t sorry to see it go. 2014, unfortunately, didn’t prove to be a whole lot better. Well – there was no suicide attempt so I guess that’s a pretty marked improvement lol.

Looking back over the last several years – I realize that I haven’t really had a life of my own. I really haven’t had much of a life. I have so much to be grateful for – my amazing family and friends and their seemingly endless support and encouragement. But it’s time for a change. Time to really start living.

I sit here, the night before New Year’s Eve 2014, and I AM READY. I’m ready for a lot of changes. I leave tomorrow to move 3000 miles from the comfort and support of my family back to Sacramento, back to an amazing group of friends whom I have missed SO much in the 11 years since I left CA. I have plans. Big plans. Maybe not in the same way that healthy people have big plans, but plenty for me. That’s the thing though, isn’t it? It’s not about how our lives measure up to others. It’s not about how much money we make (if any) compared to anyone else; it’s not about how nice our home is or what kinds of vacations we take or our job status – if any. It’s about setting goals for ourselves. Things we can actually achieve – or have a shot at. Even if it’s a long one. It’s about challenging ourselves. Some people are determined to get that big promotion this year. And that’s great. I am determined to find SOMETHING that I can do part time. And that’s enough for me. In fact, no, it’s not just enough – it’s HUGE. If I could go back to work in any capacity at any level – it would do more for my state of mind, my quality of life and my health and happiness than someone else’s huge promotion. It seems like a small thing to most – but to me it would mean a world of difference.

I have lots of goals like that. No need to bore you with them all here. The point is that January 1 isn’t just a time for resolutions you have little to no intention of keeping. It’s about reflecting on where you’ve been, how your life is going and what YOU can do to improve it. And to hell with the comparisons to everyone else. So get out there – set your goals – and go after them with all you’ve got. I might not have control over my migraines, but I have control over more than I have allowed myself to believe in a very long time. And this year I intend to take back the reins of my life. One way or another – this year will be a better year.

Happy New Year everyone!

Here’s to new beginnings, new goals and new-found strength!

Can’t Go Wrong With Ninjas, Divas and Three Drivers

I lived out in Sacramento for a few years after college. When I moved back east, saying goodbye to the friends I had made there was one of the hardest things I had ever done. That was one of the reasons why I sympathized so much with my friend Sarah when she called me from Sac-town several months ago saying she thought she might need to move back east. YAHOO! (for me anyway!) From that moment on everything moved at warp speed. By the time Sarah says something out loud she’s already made up her mind. We’re a lot alike in that regard.

She mentioned in passing, in an e-mail I think, how great it would be if she could just fly me out and we could drive back together. So I simply replied…”I’m in!” The response came almost immediately: “I’m jumping up and down. I’m literally jumping up and down in my office. Oh my God, are you kidding me? You’ll really come?” Ahhhh…yeah, I’m gonna pass up a free flight to one of my favorite places in the world and a week with one of my best friends…that sounds sane. Once that decision was made, our journey unfolded from there.

With a few weeks of Sarah-planning, here’s what we ended up with. Tommy (Sarah’s soon-to-be brother-in-law) and I had flights booked out to Sacramento. Sarah had her job transferred, her belongings shipped, and had moved into a friend’s house with her dog. She is nothing if not efficient. (Her slightly satanic cat stayed behind at her old house with her roommate until moving day.) There were THREE going-away parties planned, which is only barely sufficient if you actually know this girl. The week was NONSTOP!!! Between arrivals and parties and finishing work and surfing and packing…it was a whirlwind! Here’s a taste of what it all looked like….

The night before we hit the road, Sarah’s closest friends gathered to celebrate and say goodbye. There was food…

There were gifts, and stories…

There was a lot of comforting one another!

And the next morning came the final goodbyes…everyone said there would be no crying….

That didn’t really work out so well…for anyone, actually. Yeah, that brave face held on for about another 2 seconds!

At some point everyone just gave up trying not to cry. There’s a thin line between tears and laughter…turns out it’s Sarah!

Even the mighty Sarah was a fountain that day…and rightfully so. It’s an amazing place and what an incredible crew to have to leave behind. They really are a little bit of magic.

Then we were off!

There had been an original plan for our route back east, then a revised plan, maybe one more after that. But then came the day of plan which rocked because I’d never driven this route before. We took Rt. 50 over the Sierra into Tahoe…

Photo Credit: Tommy Boll

then 395 down the east side of the mountains past Mono Lake…

Photo Credit: Tommy Boll

Then we hit Mammoth, Death Valley….

And later than night, Vegas!

Photo Credit: Tommy Boll

The next day we hit the Grand Canyon and then we were in full cruise mode. Pandora’s Classic Hip Hop station became the soundtrack for the better part of our journey. We had fun with Mad Libs (ninjas and divas specifically – the ninjas were the best!), state trivia, songs that brought us all back to the good old days (that would be the 80s and early 90s by the way) and of course the staple of any good lengthy road trip…updates on everyone’s bowels…who had one in the hopper and who’d finally cleared the hopper and who would definitely be needing to clear the hopper first when we arrived at our hotel that evening. Good times.

We made incredible time, despite all the stops. We got back here to Virginia about half a day ahead of schedule, so Tommy and Sarah decided to keep on truckin’ and surprise the anxiously waiting sister and bride-to-be by arriving in the wee hours of the morn’.

The thing about a trip like this is, that it can be miserable and long and painfully boring, even to the point that it drives you nearly mad. Or, if you’re lucky enough to be travelling with such great companions as I had, it goes by in a flash. And before you know it, you’re back home again wondering how on earth you crossed so many miles in such a short time. But you’ve got some awesome memories and great pictures and Mad Libs that have you rolling on the floor no matter how many times you read them!

For me there was the added bonus of being able to go back to Sacramento (thanks SAS!) and visit with so many people who are dear to me. I also got to reconnect with a place that long ago captured not just my imagination, but a piece of my heart. And even better than that, I got to be there for my friend as she made her trek back east and said goodbye to it all…at least for a while. So journey on my friend, your story continues in the east for now. And never a dull page have you written! So here’s to great friends both near and far; spontaneous trips to retrieve all the Sarahs of the world (could there be more than one??); and surviving it all with a killer cat in the car! Oh yeah…meet Princess Kiki!

Sarah: "Kitty...stop growling. That's not nice. And please stop clawing my leg or you'll have to go back in your giant cage."

And if you’re worried about how much time she spend in the cage…check out the left side of this pic…it should ease your mind!

It’s actually a large dog crate…she was ridin’ in style! Smallest passenger, largest cabin…the things we’ll do for love (or survival…whatever you want to call it!)

A Sad Day in Sacramento

As someone who will forever call Sacramento my home (despite the many places I have lived before and since my years there!), today is a sad, sad day. Last night our beloved Sacramento Kings played what will almost certainly be their final game in the River City. The Kings’ time in Sac-town has been marked with ups and downs, comings and goings of great players and coaches, wide-ranging scores and records. But one thing has been consistent…the Kings have been the heart of this small-town big-city through it all. Fans have supported the Kings through years of losing seasons and blown the roof off of Arco Arena, for many years, considered the toughest arena in the NBA for visiting teams (not to mention the loudest!). In true Sacramento style, last night’s game was packed, enthusiastic and rowdy; a showing of this town’s undying love for their basketball team despite an over-all losing season. The game ended and fans stayed in their seats, cheering the team they desperately hope, against odds, will not be leaving them.

So why are the Kings moving? And where? Owners Joe and Gavin Maloof, in a somewhat baffling choice, have decided to apply to the NBA Board of Governors to move the Kings to…are you ready for this?….Anaheim! So The LA area will have not one, not two, but THREE basketball teams now? Sure, that makes sense! The second team in LA (the LA Clippers, if you didn’t know there was a second team) is already scurrying around in the shadows behind the spotlighted Lakers. And now, for reasons unknown to the masses, the Kings could well be joining this over-teamed area. The Governors’ meetings began this morning at 9 a.m. EST. The Maloofs will make their presentation at 12:45. Over the next two days arguments will be heard from the City Governors of each of the cities as well as the team owners and if they choose to proceed, the Maloofs will make their formal application for relocation on Monday. While the Maloofs have certainly done some good things for the team over the years, trying to force a move from a city that desperately wants to keep their team, to an area where two existing teams desperately want to keep them out just doesn’t make much sense. But like all business deals, this one isn’t about sense, it’s about cents. The more the merrier…for the Maloofs anyway.